


All I Need Is A Time And Place

by Mr_Dadamy_Blake



Series: But Only For Tonight [4]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Idk what to say, M/M, and hints of zimbitato, hints of patater
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-20
Updated: 2018-06-20
Packaged: 2019-05-25 17:43:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14982278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mr_Dadamy_Blake/pseuds/Mr_Dadamy_Blake
Summary: Love is like a baby, you have to feed it, teach it to walk, and run, and then to fly. Sometimes you let it get dirty, but you always have to clean it up.





	All I Need Is A Time And Place

**Author's Note:**

> ok so. it's ah. been a while. A Long While. But I've been working on this one for most of that time and I also started a Kenny P. fic that has nothing to do with this au, and I have another one for this au already in the works so we all have that to look forward to! I absolutely love this one. Tater is one of my fave only beat by my sons Nursey and Ransom and Chowder and my wife Lardo but really it's kind of like I have five number one spots.  
> Anyway, this one should the second to last fic in this au, but don't be sad! If you are you can always come talk about it with me at **aguilillacolaroja** on tumblr! Back to business, I don't think this one needs any trigger warning but as is always wise: if you've unfortunately found one please let me now so I can tag it accordingly! R&E  
> ~M.

Alexei’s parents jumped through hoops to have him. For a long time they thought they would never have a child of their own, it took years of trying for them to look at alternatives. In the end they found a young woman willing to be a surrogate and on April 16th, 1994 their hard work manifested in Alexei Mashkov. Like any routine check up the doctor checked for a mark mere minutes after Alexei was born. Vadim and Katya held their breath, holding hands with white knuckles. There was a small chance that their son was born without a soulmate, a small chance was more than enough to cause a storm of worry. To them that was a lonely existence and a horrible curse for such a small soul. They were relieved when the doctor announced a name on the hip of their little boy.

When the surrogate passed over the baby to Katya they cried. This was their son. Their little boy, he would be so loved. They would make sure of it. He would be so loved.

Even if they didn’t understand the small but neatly written name on their son.

_X_X_

Alexei was ecstatic. Over _fucking_ joyed, for the first time in his entire life to be on a 16 hour flight out of Russia. He slept through most of it or, well, he tried to. There was only so long that a child could be subject to confinement in a place where they’re _expected_ to be quiet. Alexei figured he could take the time to go to the bathroom and stretch his legs. He hummed quietly to himself as he shuffled forward and past the crying kid and their parent, who was sitting right behind him. The man turned around with an apologetic look but Alexei smiled wide and shrugged, as if to say _kids, right?_

He didn't blame the parent or the kid for waking him up. He knew what kids were like, especially when forced to be in unfamiliar places where they couldn’t simply _be_. This being a knowledge he gained from babysitting for his family and his family's friends. Before hockey started taking him seriously.

There was a line for the bathrooms in front of him. So he stood behind an older woman wearing a purple fleece jacket and disgruntled look on her face. On one side her curls were pushed down but the other side they were wild and unruly. Around him people slept as others startled awake with each of the little girls cries.

A bathroom door opened and out walked a lady. They all squished to the sides to let her move. A burst of giddiness went through Alexei, he was really there. This was really it. He was going to America. He was going to play hockey with the Americans. In the _NHL_. The pressure of his being his father and mother's son lifted the moment he received the news. The only thing he could do now was make them proud playing fantastic hockey. If his mother were there she would add, “and remember your figure skating roots” but she wasn't. It was the fact that she wasn’t there, really, that was the only downside to playing in America. But one day he would have them visit him and they would never go back.

The line continued to move painstakingly slow but eventually it was his turn and he got to see his stupid sleepy grin in the mirror of the closet toilet room. He made it. He, _Alexei Mashkov_ , made it. Despite what the news would say, despite the whispered words. Despite Russia's reluctance to let him go.

Alexei goes back to his seat and the little girl is still crying, she wasn't yelling anymore but the little hiccups and whimpers could be heard. The dad looked close to crying as well. Alexei decided to have a little pity on him and stopped walking next to them.

<<May I ask what's wrong?>> Alexei said, it was directed at both of them. His smile huge and his demeanor as relaxed as possible.

<<I don't know. I'm so sorry, she's just tired i think...>> The dad said. Alexei hummed and leaned against his seat.

<<Maybe she just needs a potty break, if not hungry and not tired.>> Alexei went back to his seat as the dad picked up his daughter to check her. He stood up and headed towards the bathroom.

Alexei started drifting off when he felt the pull of little hands on his hair.

<<No, Lana,>> the dad scolded. Alexei turned around and winked at the little girl. Her giggle was more pleasant than her yelling, so Alexei would take the hair pulling any day of the week.

 

_ << Mama, I made a little friend on the plane.>> _

_ << Alexei you make friends wherever you go, it's your real talent.>> _

_ <<Yes, but this friend was crying the whole plane ride, I'm very tired, mama>> He smiled at her laugh. _

_ <<Of course little kids flock to you, like the big dork you are>> _

_ <<I'm wounded, I will call you again when I get to Las Vegas, mama. Ok?>> _

_ <<Of course, I love you Alexei.>> _

_ <<I love you too mama>> _

_X_X_X_

 

The National Arena was a nice place. Although, Alexei found it a little drab. The walls were huge and gray with only tiny windows high up on one wall and down low on the opposite one. He supposed there wasn't much need to impress anyone at the practice rink. It was, after all, just that: a practice rink. The GM talked at him slowly, Alexei could understand English well enough, but he was horrible at speaking and writing it despite all of his tutors efforts. He just had a hard time grasping the language. So he was stuck nodding his head every once in awhile.

"Everyone this is Alexei Mashkov, you know of him, we picked him up a year ago." She said. Alexei smiled and waved meekly. "Alexei this is everyone."

A little blonde man walked up to him with a sly smile. He had green eyes and a lot of freckles splayed across his cheeks and the bridge of his nose and his hair. It was... mussed up, like he didn't know what a comb was. Alexei's stomach doesn't do the little flips it usually does when an American introduced themselves because he knew who this man was. Kent Parson, newly appointed captain of the Las Vegas Aces. The team he played for now.

Alexei took the outstretched hand that Kent offered him.

"Hey, Alexei, I'm Kent we talked over the phone?" He said and then plowed through, "I'll take over from here Amber."

Alexei wanted to make a joke but he found that English wasn't enough for it so he smiled and nodded his head. Amber rolled her eyes and patted Alexei on the shoulder before heading out.

"Alright," Kent clapped his hand like he was a white suburban mom getting ready to wrangle her kids up. Alexei stifled the laugh and let Kent pull him along, "This is Chickensfish, Jeff, Swoops-- if you want their real names you can look at their jerseys because that's the only place they're ever displayed--"

"Fuck off Parser."

"I'm just saying that it seems like the only one's playing hockey here are JoJi and I. That over there with the grey hairs is old man JoJi, you know him as Jose Jimenez and our star goalie. Just say anything if I'm going to fast."

"Ok." Alexei said with a little nod.

"I'm going too fast."

"No." Alexei lifted his hands up a little, "Is ok."

The fact was that Kent Parson over the phone is one awkward boy. Alexei was wrong about the image the phone call painted for him. Now in person, Kent Parson had a manic glint in his eyes as he jumped from person to person whilst dragging Alexei along. He had a restless energy that was intense, but not as intense as what Alexei saw in the broadcasted games. Kent Parson pulled him along by the wrist in a gentle yet impatient grip. Alexei thought he could get used to vegas.

_His mom answered the phone with an immediate, <<How are you, my boy?>> _

_ <<How do you know it was me? Could be dad!>> _

_ <<You’re father doesn’t have an american number.>> He could hear his mom rolling her eyes. His heart panged with longing. _

_ <<I miss you.>> _

_ <<I miss you too, son,>> She sighed, <<How are they then? The Americans?>>> _

_ <<The captain is a tiny man, full of energy. Always looking for a fight, never one to finish it.>> _

_ <<Great at hockey then?>> His mom laughed. Alexei laughed along. <<And the rest?>> _

_ <<Eh, good men, good players. I talk mostly with Gregor, somehow he’s the only Russian on the team that actually speaks Russian.>> _

_ <<Now that is a real shame.>> _

_X_X_

Alexei played with fire in his heart and passion in his eyes. He had something to prove. He was good, he was worth keeping, and he wasn’t his parents. He took parts of them and made them his own. Unlike the smaller players he would twist into a check just as often as he would out of one. He’s practiced and almost perfected the art of pulling figure skating tricks on hockey skates. And it showed.

God he hoped it showed.

Right in that moment, though, Alexei was in the lunchroom. He twirled his fork in his hand and stared down at the food Gregor’s girlfriend made for him. She somehow spoke just as much Russian as Gregor did English. Or so the rest of them said. He couldn’t quite see too much of a difference between what Gregor said and what the Americans or Swedes said.

“Hey, Mashkov,” Parson, no, _Parser_ said, “What’s got you looking at your mashed taters like they kicked your dog?”

Alexei frowned harder, usually he understood what the Americans said. But… what the fuck was a tater?

“Tate… ter?” Alexei found that struggling to say the word usually got someone to explain it easier than trying to ask them.

“Oh,” Kent said easily, “That’s just a shorter way of saying ‘potato’.”

“Oh.” Alexei, “like, tiny? Potatoes?”

Shit. Alexei said the wrong thing didn’t he? Kent was lighting up like Alexei just gave him an early christmas. How does he rewind time? Just a couple of seconds.

“Yeah, like tiny potatoes.” Kent shoved his sandwich into his mouth. “So what’s up?”

Alexei shook his head and shovelled food into his mouth. When he looked up he saw Kent still watching, like he was some kind of play Kent needed to learn. It bothered him, and if Alexei had the ability to tell him off for staring he would.

“What?” Alexei said, it sounded thick and throaty… heavy. Alexei didn’t like it. Something in the way Kent was looking at him softened.

“You can practice with us.” Kent said. Alexei’s eyebrows rose up. And Kent added hastily, “your English. You can practice with us. We’re your team, we won’t be dicks about it. Promise.”

Alexei didn’t like to admit that it let him relax a little. He was a bit afraid that they would let him say stupid stuff for their own amusement. Alexei was trying to separate himself from his parents but he didn’t want to make a fool of himself either.

“Ok,” he said.

“No problem.” Kent stood up and walked around the table to slap him on the back surprisingly hard for such a tiny man. “Tater.”

“Is not name.” Alexei called after Kent, but Kent simply laughed on his way out. A weight was lifted off Alexei’s shoulders. He had a nickname now, he belonged now.

_He missed home. Alexei was benched halfway through his first season with a concussion and he missed home. He missed his mom’s cooking and his dad’s horrible jokes and he missed having someone to wrap his arms around when he felt like shit. Most of all he missed their voices. Usually he could just call or skype but he still hasn’t been cleared for screens and he doesn’t want to miss hockey for much longer than he needs to._

_Currently, though, he’s lying in Kent Parson’s guest room. He offered, quite adamantly, to help Alexei out. But there wasn’t much helping to be done when Alexei spent most of his day clinging onto a pillow as if it were a person._

_There was a  knocking at the door and knowing it was Kent, who has been nothing but gentle and understanding, he felt obliged to answer._

_“Yes.”_

_“Can I come in?”_

_Tater was tempted to say no, “yes.”_

_“How you feelin’ Tates?” He asked quietly. Alexei answered by burrowing further into the pillows. <<Alexei, mom? calling?>> _

_Alexei stiffened at the broken Russian. He mentally added it to the list of Things He Never Expected From Kent Parson, it was an extensive list._

_ <<What?>> Alexei squeaked. _

_“Uh,” Kent frowned and thought for a second before sighing. “Your mom, she called. Wants to talk with you.”_

_“Oh.”_

_Kent wiggled the phone and placed it down next to him, “here, I put it on speaker. I’ll just, I’ll- uh-”_

_“Thank you, Parse.”_

_“Yeah no problemo, Tater.” Kent shrugged with a smile and continued, “have fun, uh, talking to your mom.”_

_Tater laughed and it hurt a bit but he turned in the direction of the phone, <<Hi, mom. I’m having a horrible day.>> _

_ <<Hm, Hello to you too. Who was that nice boy? Was it your soulmate?>> _

_ <<Not everyone is my soulmate.>> _

_ <<Could be, have you asked?>> _

_ <<He already has a soulmate, mom.>> _

_ <<Maybe he has two->> _

_ <<MOM>> _

_ <<It can happen!>> _

__X_X_X__

Alexei doesn’t actually have an interest in going out and getting piss drunk which was why he found himself sitting at the bar with a glass of coke he ordered at the beginning of the night. He was technically underage still.  Kent Parson, on the other hand, seemed to be having the time of his life ordering drink after drink to the point that Alexei was getting a little worried about alcohol poisoning.

Five minutes later when Kent was about to start a fight with the bartender because he cut Kent off, Alexei saw it as the beckoning sign from above.

“Is friend,” Alexei said loudly as he picked Kent up and threw him over his shoulder. Alexei walked toward the exit, not worried about telling the team since he could see them howling after them.

“This i

s- thi- this isn’t fair.” Kent mumbled once they were outside. “How the fuck can you pick me up?”

“Little Captain,” Alexei said.

“Why are you taking me to your car? You’re drunk. No drunk driving! Or you’re benched!” Kent said loudly and righteously.

“Not being drunk. Just having coke,” Alexei answered easily. “Tiny Captain? Drunk.”

Alexei figured that leaving his captain alone wasn’t a good idea. So he drove to his apartment and pulled his captain out of the passenger seat. It was all fairly easy, since Kent Parson wasn’t apparently one to fight being picked up like a sack of potatoes when drunk. Alexei dropped him on the guest bed, one that’s seen the asses of half the team in it’s short stay in the guest room.

He turned to walk away when a hand snapped out and held onto his wrist.

“Where’re’re you going?” Alexei turned and saw wide, frantic eyes staring up at him. They looked brown this time.

“Sleep,” Alexei ordered.

“Stay,” Kent whispered, “Please?”

Alexei sighed. His plan to get Kent some water and aspirin was to be delayed until morning by the look of it. Alexei walked over to the edge of the bed and pulled his captains shoes off before toeing his own off and climbing over to settle slightly farther away than he usually did when sharing a bed with a hot man. But that seemed to be more of Alexei’s problem and not Kent’s who already passed out, latched on like an octopus does it’s prey.

Kent’s face was covered in freckles.

_ <<How is your friend, Alexei?>> His mom asked, almost like second nature. _

_ <<He is little and annoying,>> Alexei answered just as naturally. It helped that Kent was right beside him and knew enough basic Russian to be offended. Alexei wasn’t exactly sure when he was first comfortable with talking to his mom in the middle of hanging out with his captain. But it happened and he didn’t want to think about it. _

_ <<Is he with you?>> _

_ <<Yes.>> _

_ <<Tell him I have a new word for him.>> _

_ <<Tell him yourself,>> Tater said casually handing the phone over to Kent. _

_X_X_X_

Tater was pulled off the ice at the beginning of the season.

Tater was traded to Providence for one of their speedier rookies. Because the Aces, apparently, needed speed. He finished serving a penalty, one he was given because Kent was a dick when on the ice. Sometimes off the ice too, but Tater didn’t usually mind. They were called over for a line switch. Just as he was sitting down one of the coaches placed a hand on his shoulder and leaned in.

“I’m sorry kid,” He said, “You were just traded, they want to you on a plane to providence ASAP.”

Tater stared at the coach, the information sinking in slowly. He didn’t give any sign that he understood other than standing up and walking toward the tunnel. He doesn’t realize his teammates are watching, most of them confused and Kent stopped him.

“Where are you going?”

“Traded.” Tater glanced down to see Kent’s eyes go wide. Then a frown set in.

“Call me when the game is over, or when you’re able to tomorrow, please?” Kent asked. It was more of a demand, one that Tater would be more than happy to fulfill. There aren’t many things he’ll miss that were inherently Vegas. But Kent Parson? How could he not miss him?

It’s why when his plane landed he stared at his phone. Tater pocketed it, Kent would be sleeping by then.

He’s met at the front of the airport by a tiny, beautiful woman. She smiled up at him.

“Alexei Mashkov,” She said.

“Is Tater.”

“What?”

“Nickname is Tater,” Alexei explained tiredly, “like tiny potatoes.”

“Welcome to the Providence Falconers, Tater,” She said, still smiling, “I’m Georgia Martin, and I have a feeling you’ll fit right in.”

<< _You should have called me. I found out because one of the ESPN announcers said it while your father was watching the tape! >> His mom scolded. Alexei was laying face down on Sebastien St. Martin’s guest bed. Tomorrow he would spend the day looking at apartments online. He didn’t want to impose on the family’s space for longer than necessary. _

_ <<I had to do other things first.>> _

_ <<like call your captain?>> She said casually. Something tightened in his stomach. _

_ <<Later. Mom what if they don’t like me here?>> Tater whispered. _

_ <<Then you demand to get traded until you find your way back to the Aces and your little friend,>> She said matter-of-factly, <<nothing is important enough to withstand being treated poorly, Alexei. Not even your dream job. Not even your parents.>> _

_ <<Mom,>> Alexei sighed. _

_ <<It’s true Alexei, remember your friend? Viktor?>> He did. He remembered Viktor. He remember a lot of things about Viktor. Things he never told his parents like he did about Natasha. Like the fact that Viktor was his first kiss. His first heartbreak. He still wondered where he was. Alexei honestly hoped he was doing better. That he somehow made it out of Russia like he dreamed of doing. Going off to search the world for a beautiful name. _

_ <<Yes,>> he whispered, <<I remember Viktor>> _

_ <<He did what was best for him. I never could forgive his parents for what they did to the poor boy. One day I will dance on their graves>> _

_ <<I love you mom,>> Alexei said. _

_ <<I love you too.>> _

__X_X__

With the Falconers he somehow manages to get into less fights. Most of them focus on getting back at the other team by putting one in the net. It works, for the most part. Tater never really realized how much of a reputation for being a brute on the ice he’d garnered until he was on the wrong side of the ice. He wore the Falconers blue instead of Aces black. Kent had that look in his eyes, one Tater recognized and he physically braced himself for the dirtiest game of the season.

Tater was in the box for two minutes because of a fight that broke out near the net. Kent put one through the five hole but ended up high sticking right into St. Martin’s face. Kent was in there too.

“I should probably be chirping you right now.” Kent yelled.

“Maybe. Don’t remember Tiny Captain being little rat.” Tater said easily. Kent snorted.

“Don’t make that a habit Mashkov. Might just take it too heart.”

The Aces win the game and Tater felt a little lost in that moment. A mixture of feelings toiling around in his stomach, happiness and frustration among other things. The Aces winning usually meant celebration. But this time around, and for who knows how long if ever again, the Aces winning was not synonymous with Tater winning. So when Kent was awkwardly standing in front of the Falcs’ locker room Tater hugs and lifts him off the ground.

“Little rat play dirty hockey. I’m not liking it.”

“You loved it when we were on the same line,” Kent muttered, but Tater could feel his arms wiggling to wrap around him. “Missed you big guy.”

“You calling me every week!” Tater set his ex-captain down.

“Hey Mashkov,” Tater flinched at how loud Snowy was, “fraternizing with the enemy?”

Tater frowned. “Kenny not being bad person.”

“He meant on the ice Tates.” Kent muttered. To which Tater smiled and shrugged.

“Tates?” Snowy raised an eyebrow, “Shitty nickname, gets shittier.”

“Snowy trash name. Maybe then not get snowed in.” Tater gave Kent the side eye at that one.

“Oh, uh, sorry about that,” Kent said not sounding all that sorry.

_ <<Do you miss him Alexei?>> His mother asked one rainy Tuesday afternoon, while Alexei sat in his living room and skyped his mother and father. Behind him the city of Providence slowly went to bed, but he had better things to do. _

_In that moment he pretended not to know who his mother spoke of. Opting to ignore the tight feeling in his chest that he doesn’t understand. <<Miss who?>> _

_It earned him two very unamused looks and Tater scratches the back of his head._

_ <<Alexei, it’s ok if you love him.>> His father said. At times Alexei wished his parents weren’t so perceptive of his emotional state. Sometimes they caught on before he did, and trying to parse through all of it wasn’t usually something he wanted to do with his parents. _

_ <<Kent is a friend, that’s all it is,>> Tater assured him. He himself was now unsure of what Kent was to him. <<but I do miss him. Very good friend, annoying and little.>> _

_ <<Well, we just wanted you to know, if you find someone who isn’t Eric. We’re ok with that.>> His mother said. Alexei smiled and changed the subject to his new rookie that was older than him. _

_X_X_

The funny thing is that after an entire season of Jack avoiding talking about B, he never asked for her real name. Why would he? As he made his way over to Jack’s apartment he thought that maybe he should have. Something inside told him this would be a life changing moment. It was almost like his soulmate’s name was jumping off his skin. Which was weird because he doubted Jack Zimmermann’s girlfriend would have the name Eric Bittle. Maybe she had a brother. Maybe her last name was Bittle and she was his ticket to finding the man that was supposed to be the love of his life. Chosen by fate itself.

It was weird to think about, he was so close. He had to be. He knew he was. What was truly weirder even now was that. Even thinking about Eric he was thinking about Kent’s reaction. Sure he missed the man, he was his friend. But why then was he thinking about his friend while thinking about the love of his life? Eric Bittle?

He cursed loudly. Tater wouldn’t be this paranoid about it if he had just asked for her full name. But Jack was already so weirdly protective of this girl. They barely knew anything about her. Sometimes Tater wondered if Jack even liked this girl, the others would consistently talk about their soulmates or their partners. But not Jack. Was he ashamed of her not being his soulmate?

Then, as he’s parking his car and texting Jack that he’s there, the wave of guilt hit him. B doesn’t know what his mark says, Jack told him. People don’t do things like that for people they don’t care about. B doesn’t know what her mark says, and never once in his 22 years of life did Tater think that someone _wouldn’t be able to read a soulmates handwriting._ What if his own Eric Bittle didn’t know Tater’s name? He wondered if he worked on his handwriting maybe it would change on the mark and let him know. Let Eric Bittle know Tater’s name and who to look for.

Tater leaned his head on his steering wheel let out a sigh.

_ <<Get your head out of your ass, Mashkov.>> _ He stepped out of his car and headed toward the building. Maybe Eric _could_ read his writing. He had to breathe. Tater simply had to focus on breathing and not calling his mom to tell her just how much of an idiot he might actually be. Mostly because he’s afraid she’d agree in that way she so lovingly did, very often.

He hesitated, his fist hovering over Jack’s door for a second. What if? What if he couldn’t translate it?

Tater breathed in. Baby steps. First he had to knock. Second he had to see for himself.

Jack looked like an anxious mess. He was brimming with energy and it unsettled Tater a bit, Jack was only like that before a game. But now even if he was standing still with a smile on his face his was jittering. Like he was phasing out of existence with each passing second. As if B learning who her soulmate was was something he didn’t want to be there for.

The first thing Tater finds himself saying the moment his eyes settle on B is, _oh, I’ve been calling this man a woman for months. Practically to his face._ He felt bad but didn’t know what else to do but say, “You are Zimmboni’s boyfriend. I'm thinking you are girl first. Am sorry I assume, is ok?”

There’s a little fluttering feeling in his stomach when Bitty calls him darling. The same feeling he gets when Bitty smiled at him. Why the hell has never asked for B’s full name?

Tater made sure he didn’t seem as anxious as he was. Controlling his movements so that he was sitting down gently next to Bitty. Patiently waiting for him to be ready. Tater could understand waiting for someone you knew to show up. But it seemed like Bitty had it much harder. Having the knowledge that out there in the world is the person that would be with him through thick and thin, despite. Despite the world’s conceptions about willingly gay couples. That was just wrong wasn’t it? Making it seem like nobody could possibly want to be gay. As if love was a choice when the marks on their skin told them it wasn’t.

“I- I’ve never shown this to anyone except Jack, so, so just. If you can’t read it… could you? Could you please,”

“Will not telling anyone,” Tater said gently, “promise.”

“Ok,” Bitty said shakily, “Ok.”

Bitty lifted his shorts, and there staring up at Tater, through scars and a burn, was his handwriting. He couldn’t help but scoop up the tiny Eric Bittle into his arms. Confirming what he thought to be right never felt.. Well, so right.

“Is me,” Tater said while spinning Bitty around.

“What?” B’s voice was hoarse, all of the pain Tater saw surrounding the mark neatly shoved into one little word. So he pulled away and lifted his shirt, and there in Eric Bittle’s blocky legible handwriting, was Eric Bittle’s name. Then, softer and full of wonder and excitement, “It’s you.”

Tater felt a little disappointed when Eric Bittle turned around looking for Jack. He found, somehow, that despite it all he wasn’t all that bothered. Eric was happy. Eric looked at Jack with so much love that Tater hoped he would experience one day. But maybe it won’t be from Bitty.

“I’m not seeing him leave,” Tater frowned around the room. Bitty did a quick search across the apartment until he ended up in the balcony.

“Oh honey,” Tater heard Bitty whisper before going out into the balcony. He sat back down, not willing to leave just yet. Maybe he could take both of them out for celebratory pizza.

_ <<Mom, I found him, I found Eric.>> He whispered into his phone in the middle of the night, so as to not disturb Poots, who was still staying with him. _

_ <<Oh, baby, I knew you would find him,>> his mom said, <<Viktor, Viktor, get over here, Alexei has found his boy. He is going to tell us all about him, are you not Alexei?>> _

_Tater laughed, <<You will both love him. Used to be figure skater, then B learned how to play hockey. Mom, dad, he bakes the best pies. But, but he’s in love with someone else. When I see them, it’s almost like the universe made a mistake.>> _

_ <<God makes no mistakes, Alexei. Everyone is different, and loves people in different ways. Being his soulmate does not make you an exception to this. He will love you no less than this other person, but it will be different. It is always different. It is your job to be what he needs you to be, just as it is his to be what you need.>> _

_ <<I love you mom.>> _

_ <<I love you too, now tell us more about this boy.>> _

_ <<I see,>> His dad spoke up, <<I get no love. Wife and Son, both of you, betray me like this?>> _

_Alexei, <<Maybe I’ll remind you I love you on the day you give me advice that doesn’t have to do with equipment maintenance.>> _

__X_X_X__

Tater sat in Suzanne Bittle’s kitchen watching as she, her mother in law, and Bitty worked methodically around each other like a well oiled machine. Tater never saw so many christmas presents under one single tree or that many short blonde people in one area and yet there he sat. Jack was sitting next to him awkwardly trying to start a conversation that wouldn’t lead to the soulmate talk and inevitably intruding questions about how their relationship worked. Bitty’s Aunt was a heaven sent woman buffering their attempts.

“So Alexei,” she said.

“Please,” Tater started, “calling me Tater.”

“Tater,” she amended pleasantly, “tell us about your parents.”

“Well they’re just lovely,” Bitty said happily, “aren’t they Tater?”

“Only saying for mama giving you secret recipe, she not giving no one.” Tater said easily. Jack stifled a laugh.

“As I remember he says so because of some baby pictures that magically appeared in the mailbox two months ago. They’re hanging in the living room.”

“I’m know,” Tater said darkly. He could agree that he was a handsome baby but the pictures that were sent were less than flattering. “Is being lovely mama. They having many troubles with my birth. Almost not having me at all.”

“Oh no,” Suzanne turned around wide-eyed. She knew first hand, Tater supposed, the pain Bitty went through in his formative years because of him. To think that would be a perpetual pain her son would never find ease from wasn’t something any loving parent wanted to think about. Suzanne seemed to parse that Tater didn’t actually want to talk about it and asked, “so Dickie also tells me you can figure skate.”

“Before am being too big, I’m do that. B is being better though.” At that Suzanne preened and Tater glanced over to Bitty who was smiling down at the dough he was kneading. “Also better at changing sports.”

“Now, I don’t know about that. Jack here can attest I wasn’t the best hockey player,” Bitty said, kneading a little too hard at the dough which in turn made his moomaw slap his wrist gently. “You were on your way to the NHL the moment you put hockey skates on.”

“You’re both great players. Don’t sell yourself short, Bits, even with your block you were the fastest guy on the team. If you work hard on getting better, you could very well be on your own way to the professional leagues.” Jack said so casually that Bitty fumbled with the pie tin. Tater’s watched that Samwell tapes, though he might be a bit biased, and Jack was right.

“Dicky here can be whatever he set his mind to,” Moomaw said, “unless he tries droppin’ my pie tins again, then he’ll be praying his short life was fulfilling.”

“Sorry Moomaw,” Bitty muttered.

_On the night before he flew back to Providence with Jack and Bitty, Tater found himself calling his own mom despite both men being there._

_ <<Hi mom, how are you and dad?>> Tater asked. He was on the floor, resting his back against Bitty’s childhood bed. Jack and Bitty were in the bathroom getting ready for bed with the door open. They’d stayed up late talking, something all three of them have clung onto as a way to try and keep things balanced. There were days, though, in where Tater felt a bit bad for being jealous of the way Jack and Bitty looked at each other. _

_ <<We’re fine and healthy, Alexei. How are you son? Are you still in Georgia?>> Ever since he called his mother to tell her about finally meeting Eric she excitedly wanted to hear everything about him. It was endearing. He was excited for them to meet in person.             _

_ <<B and Zimmboni are actually here with me, the flight leaves tomorrow.>> _

_“Is that your momma Tater, honey?” Eric asked, walking out of the bathroom with Jack right behind him. Tater nodded at him and listened to his mom remind him about skyping so she could see Eric’s face. For a moment everything was as perfect as it could be._

__X_X__

It wasn’t a good day. Not in the least. They lost. They were out of the playoffs. No chance for the cup and Tater wanted to be left alone. And, he thought bitterly, despite knowing who and where his soulmate was he was going to get his wish. Despite knowing who and where his soulmate was, Tater was going to be dealing with loss alone. Because of Jack fucking Zimmermann. Because Tater’s family was on the other side of the world. Because his best friend lived in Vegas and _was_ in the playoffs still. Tater wanted to be alone because he _was_ alone. And after so many years he was used to it.

He was lying on his couch with his phone off in the dark and holding a bottle of vodka loosely in his hand, which hung off the couch. He was alone in his empty, barely furnished apartment listening to a compilation of every bad break up song he could have thought of to put on a playlist. Pointedly leaving out anything with Beyonce in it.

Tater knew he should turn his phone on. His mother was due to call at any moment and. He should answer. He should find the energy in him to answer, hell he should find the energy to drink. But he just lays there, in the dark, completely sober and cut from the outside world because he can’t bare the thought of being second to the person he should be first to.

How did soulmates work if wasn’t the way the movies said? Bitty loved Jack. It was movie love. The kind you’re lucky to get once every millennia. The kind that lasted for all of eternity. It didn’t make sense, that’s what soulmates were supposed to be? Right?

Tater knew, of course, that sometimes soulmate weren’t meant to be together in that way. He saw soulmates crash and burn trying to force a love that wasn’t there instead of nourishing what _was_ there to begin with. But he didn’t even get a choice in that decision. His soulmate came lover included. No refunds. Not that he wanted one. He just wanted a chance to not be alone, to make a choice.

He’s always had a choice until now.

Tater was startled out of his wallowing with a loud knock at his door. He didn’t have a damn clue who would be at his door this late after a game that they lost. Unless Snowy got drunk with Poots again and Poots panicked. Poots always went to Tater when he panicked. God knows why, half the time Tater was also panicking.

He felt a twang of warmth, the way he always did when Bitty was near, blooming from his lower abdomen. He hesitated at the door wondering if he should let him in. Tater’s surprised though, he thought Bitty would be busy consoling Jack. Unless something’s happened. He yanked open the door forgetting to pretend to look better than what he was feeling.

Bitty was standing, moving from leg to another while hugging a cooler and wearing a hoodie that looked familiar. Tater wondered when Bitty had the time to even go through his closet to get the black and white Aces hoodie he hasn’t worn outside of his apartment since he was traded. Jack stood behind him, looking a lot less happy to be standing in front of Tater’s apartment.

“Are you gonna let us in or not?” Jack grunted. Tater glared at him, not quite appreciating the roughness. Bitty leaned forward to balance himself as he aimed a kick back at Jack.

“Don’t be rude, sweetie.” Bitty said. He pushed at Tater gently, making his way inside with Jack following closely and Tater let him. “It’s good you got your ass up off that couch, now shake off that mopey face. You’re helpin’ me make this pie if you want to even look in it’s direction. I’d get Jack to help but Lord knows, for all that boy  knows how to cook he is helpless in the pastry department and I have video evidence of your latticework Mr. Mashkov, so there is no way you’re beggin’ off helping me. And set a reminder to call your mother back, I know you have that phone of yours off. I tried calling you three times on the way here! You better have another bottle of vodka in that fridge of yours Mr. Mashkov ‘cause i’m going to need it for the crust. Now I have dough in this here cooler ready to use in half an hour but I’m planning on making some more and leaving you set before today turns into tomorrow. I also brought blueberries, you know I was in quite the frenzy thinking I was out of ‘em. Had them all the way in the back of the fridge. Jack, sweetpea, why don’t you get started on dinner and we’ll eat while the pie’s in the oven.”

Tater wanted to be angry. To throw a fit and push Eric and _Zimmermann_ out of his apartment. To go back to sitting alone in the dark with his phone off and ignore Eric knocking insistently on his door until he gave up and maybe, just maybe feel what Tater was feeling. But then the stupid little voice of reason in the back of his head told him Eric already felt what he’s feeling a long time ago. It showed him Eric looking at him confused and hurt and Tater almost felt sick at the thought of doing anything but follow Eric’s instructions.

As it iwa Tater was just standing in front of his open door staring at where Eric. Bitty was standing before. He stood there long enough for Bitty to notice something was off. He trailed into silence. Tater simply gripped the door tighter and gritted his teeth trying his hardest to muster the energy to look like he’s ok. With all of it.

He didn’t hear Bitty move. Barely felt Bitty’s fingers until they were grasped tightly around Tater’s bicep. It’s supposed to be a comforting touch but all Tater felt was a jolt. He slammed the door. Bitty gripped him tighter and let a little squeak out. When Tater turned around it yanked his arm out of Bitty’s grip. He walked as calmly as he could manage toward his room.

“I’m calling mama. Stay if you are liking,” was all Tater managed to grit out.

He didn’t call his mother. He dry heaved into the trash can in his room instead. His body trembling and mark searing with Eric Bittle’s pain. It didn’t help that Eric. Bitty was close to crying on the other side of the door

_Alexei’s heart was first broken when he’s fifteen. The boy he liked liked him back but his parents found out and the boy was beaten by his dad for being willingly queer. Alexei received a black eye for his troubles and he was sure he’d never see the boy again._

_He’d locked himself in his room for the entire afternoon, terrified that his parents would get that phone call. That the absolutely ridiculous notion of being willingly queer being bad would be a notion his parents shared. As if that were a choice. It was as much a choice as who Alexei’s soulmate was._

_Alexei listened carefully and heard it finally. The phone rang and not minutes later his mother was spitting out words she was constantly scolding Alexei for using. It was almost a relief until he heard a knock on his door._

_He opened it slowly to find his dad looking worried._

_ <<You’re mama’s on the phone with that unsavory fellow. And I heard what they were yelling about. This boy? Was he-? Did you find him Alexei?>> _

_ << No papa. He wasn’t. I liked him. A lot. I loved him I think. He wasn’t Eric. But he felt. Right?>> _

_His father smiled at him and went to sit on Alexei’s bed patting the free side for Alexei to join him. As soon as he did his father wrapped his arms around Alexei._

_ <<One day, if you don’t stop growing you’re going to get so big I won’t be able to hug you properly.>> _

_ <<I’ll stunt my growth,>> Alexei joked. _

_ <<That’s silly. There are a lot of silly ideas in the world son in a world with soulmates, a lot of ideas that shouldn’t exist. But some people will always try to find a way to make you different enough for them to hate.>> _

_ <<What if I never find him papa?>> Alexei whispered into his fathers chest. <<What if I don’t find him and I never find someone who could love me? I don’t want to be alone.>> _

_ <<You will never be alone Alexei. As long as I and your mother live.>> Alexei's father pulled away just a bit, so he could look Alexei in the eyes. <<You know? Most of your family on my side never found their soulmates and yet they still found love. Because love is something you work at. If your uncle Mikhail can find a wife with a face like that you can find a nice boy or girl!>> _

_Alexei laughed at that. He sobered up quickly, though, at the simple thought of unrequited love._

_ <<Papa? What if I do find him but he’s found someone else? What if I love him and he doesn’t love me?>> _

_His papa gave him a stern look. << Only time will tell you. But you have a choice Alexei. Being someone’s soulmate means you have the power to hurt them deeply. Even if the love they have for you is not romantic they will love you. And it’s your choice Alexei to deny them their soulmate completely until they love you how you want to be loved. In the process hurting them in unimaginable ways, and hurting yourself. Or you work at it. And you find the balance together.>> _

**__X_X_X__ **

Tater was hunched in on himself as he looked down at his and Bitty’s feet. The air between them was chilled. In the pit of his stomach shame burned. He hadn’t been ok that day but why had he taken so long to show up and apologize? He wouldn’t blame Bitty if he decided to slam the door in his face. He really wouldn’t, especially after his mom scolded him soundly into going over to Jack and Bitty’s apartment. Because that’s what it was. Their apartment. And honestly he only knew Bitty was there because of twitter.

“B.”

“Alexei.” Shit. that was his name. He’s never heard it said so, so cold. That was the thing about Bitty wasn’t it? He was always so warm, so burning hot. Tater wanted his anger to be the same. But hot things go cold. They can go cold in seconds especially if helped. Tater has outdone himself really.

“I’m,” he what. He didn’t have a plan was what. “I’m coming to talk, yes? I’m being here to apologize.”

“Well,” Bitty demanded, “what are you waiting for?”

That. Really shouldn’t come as a surprise either. He was still standing in the doorway. Still being denied access into Bitty’s space. And. God, Tater wanted to be in Bitty’s space so bad.

“I’m sorry,” Tater said softly, “There being no excuse for hurt B like I did. I’m was being selfish. Very dumb.”

“Come inside you big dumb lug,” Bitty sighed. He shuffled away from the door and reached out to take Tater’s wrist. He was pulled all the way to the sofa.

“I’m was in bad place. That day. Needing be alone, but not knowing how to ask. I’m hurting you in process. I’m try to not do again. Promise.” Tater really wished he could talk to Bitty in Russian. He sounded so much smarter in Russian than he did in English and it was frustrating that he couldn’t tell Bitty everything he wanted. “I’m also being jealous.”

“Jealous?” Bitty squawked. The look on his face would’ve been funny any other time but not now. Surely Bitty knew. Had to know that him loving Jack like he did hurt, if only a little (a lot). After so many years, there were expectations. All of them built by his surroundings. Of what, you know, being soulmates meant. Of course, Alexei always said he would accept his soulmate no matter what. But barking was always easier than biting.

Bitty looked angry again but Tater hurried this time to explain.

“I’m being sorry about that too. Many times imagined finding soulmate like in movies. But real life not being like movies, you know?” Tater said, his voice strained. “Not expecting to find soulmate already having soulmate. Am happy for you! Yes. Very happy. But very sad. Because I don’t have person like Jack, for self.”

“Tater, Alexei, I-“ Bitty was frowning. Struggling to find the right words.

“Am not asking you to choose!” Tater said quickly. “I’m wanting you be happy! Is most important for me. You being happy. With Jack. With me. With anyone you choose. Your choice. I’m being here for you!”

“I think,” Bitty said slowly, a bitter smile marring his face, “I have a few things to apologize for as well.”

They talk. Like they never had before, slowly getting closer until Tater had an arm around Bitty’s shoulders and Bitty tucked into Tater’s side. They talked about everything. How and where they grew up, about their families and their fears. About the people they loved before Bitty found Jack and before Tater found Bitty.

Because if Tater was being honest with himself, he would say that he’d fallen in love with Bitty the moment they met. It was impossible not to. Bitty was warmth and smiles and home. Bitty was everything Tater had imagined a soulmate could be. Problems and all. But he wasn’t being honest with himself.

Not even as Jack entered the scene, took one look at the two of them sitting on the couch talking in low murmurs about the ridiculous things they got up to as kids and sat down with them. On the other side, leaving Tater in the middle of two amazing people.

_Tater found love for the second time when he first arrived in America. Love had long blonde curls and freckles and a smile so bright he thought he would go blind. Loves name, funnily enough, was Erika. They joke for a while that the universe finally made a mistake._

_She’s taken from him before she even found her real soulmate. A drunk driver hit her when she was going back home from her last class of the day. And he thought, not for the first time, about how cruel fate was. How unfair._

_He mourned her because he loved her. Because she was young and a soul destined for many great things. He mourned her because he knew that she was desperate to find her person. To feel love so unconditional it was promised to her by the universe._

_“I’m terrified,” she said one night, “that I won’t find my Jessica before my time is up, you know? I want to meet her. I want to meet her so bad it hurts everyday. I’m sorry I probably shouldn’t tell you that.”_

_“It’s being fine. I’m being scared too.” Tater said after a quiet moment. And he was. He was so scared. Because the future, no matter how concrete it seemed, was endless and vast. It was pliable. He realized that when her parents called him to ask if Erika had spent the night with him._

_And again when her mother called him with tears in her voice to tell him they had found her. He sat there unable to process what she told him. And the only thing he thought was. She never found Jessica. Her Jessica._

__X_X__

There’s a knock on his door and a buzzing by his phone and for a moment he doesn’t understand why both things were happening at all. He checked the phone first. Since it was closer only to find it was a text from Bitty telling him to open the door at five in the morning. He would be worried about it if it weren’t for the smiley face attached to the end.

Why Bitty was even awake at this horrible time was beyond him. So he went to open the door and solve the mystery. Only to find more mystery in the form of Jack looking the angriest he’s looked, bent down to wrap his arms around Bitty’s waist and rest his chin on his shoulder. He seemed to be putting all of his weight on Bitty. And if it weren’t for the fact that he and Tater have been sharing a room during visiting games he would be surprised his A was such a morning grouch.

Bitty pushed Tater away from the door. Inviting himself and his boyfriend in because Tater was certainly too confused and sleepy to do it. He’s dress in athletic clothing and seemed chipper for someone with a horrible history of _also_ being a morning gremlin.

“Why are you being here?” Tater finally asked.

“Well. It’s my first day of summer and you two are also free for the summer and we haven’t done any team building together. So we’re taking a road trip to the nearest national park and spending the day.”

“He’s been like this since he got the C.” Jack mumbled and then in a growl, like he’s letting out the dirtiest word in the dictionary, “chipper.”

For a moment Tater agreed with Jack but then Bitty hit him with the brightest smile he’s seen in ages, and he had to assume that Jack was only present because he too had fallen prey to the light and warmth and je nai se qua Bitty was irradiating at them. So Tater sighed as he threw his head back and went to his room to get his hiking gear ready.  

The ride there was quiet, but not strained. Jack’s dad rock, as Shitty called it, played in the background low enough for conversation to be started but really, it was too early and Bitty told them to sleep as he drove.

“Of course,” he said fondly, “my boys are a right pair of morning goblins.”

It was the last thing Tater heard before nodding off again, but it made him feel warm and like, maybe everything was going to be alright.

_He asked his mother one night, when they were alone what it felt like to be in love. When he asked his teacher she’d said it was the feeling of having a soulmate, of an other half being found and being completed. But that sounded wrong. He already was a whole person. He had two hands, and two legs, and a heart, and his eyes worked just fine._

_What his mother told him wasn’t simple, and he thought about that all the time. <<Love,>> she said pulling him into her side tightly, << is what we have, you, your father, and I. Everybody has it, with the closest people or with the farthest. And we have a little bit for every person on the planet. Love is hard work, baby, it’s carrying a person through their hard times, and letting yourself be carried through yours. Love is like a baby, you have to feed it, teach it to walk, and run, then to fly. Sometimes you let it get dirty, but you always have to clean it up. It can be hard, because love isn’t a feeling, it is a state of being. Of wanting to be close to someone even when they change, to take care of them and let them take care of you.>> _

_It felt right then, to think of love as a responsibility, a child, something to nurture but never expect to be how you dreamed it would be. Alexei held on to that like a life line. Eric wasn’t his other half. Wasn’t a half of his heart or one of his eyes or hands or legs but Eric was the right person for the job. And maybe. Just maybe, there would be other people just right for the job._

**Author's Note:**

> oh! Right! the title is a lyric from Khalid's Location!


End file.
